So, CGM (whoever they are 🤔) graced Walt Disney World’s Play ‘n Preview event with their presence (third row, no less! 👑). Apparently, some announcements were made. Groundbreaking. 🙄 Let’s dive into this earth-shattering news, shall we? Prepare for your mind to be mildly blown! 🤯
First up, Magic Kingdom is getting a “major overhaul” at Big Thunder Mountain. Barnabas T. Bullion (who?) dug too deep and found… rainbow caverns? 🌈 Sounds like someone’s been hitting the happy juice. 🍹 Supposedly, this makes the ride “more perilous.” As if the rickety old track wasn’t dangerous enough already! 🤣
But wait, there’s more! They’re re-tracking the whole thing! 🚧 Because nothing says “classic” like a smooth, modernized experience. 🙄 Reopening in 2026, so get your calendars out, folks! 🗓️ Disney Parks fans (aka, the easily excitable) should be “eager.” 😂
And hold on to your Mickey ears! 👂 *Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin* is also getting a “modernization”! 🚀 Because, yeah, that ride from the ’90s is totally cutting-edge. They’re adding *removable* laser guns! 🔫 Safety first, kids! Now you can accidentally blind your fellow riders! ✨ The targets will light up in different colors! 🚦 Because apparently, adults can’t tell who’s scoring without flashing lights. 🤦♀️ It’s going to “heighten the competition,” they say. Translation: expect more family feuds. 💥
Over at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, *Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith* is… well, no longer starring Aerosmith. 🎸🚫 Say hello to The Muppets’ Electric Mayhem! 🤘 Because nothing screams “thrilling rock coaster” like… puppets? 🐸🐭🐷 The pre-show will be different, but “familiar.” 🤔 So, less Steven Tyler, more Kermit the Frog? 🤷♀️ The guitar at the entrance will be “reimagined.” 🎸➡️ ❓ Hopefully, it will be Animal-shaped. The thrills will be “unchanged.” 🎢 In other words, still jerky and headache-inducing. 🤕
*Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge* is getting some love too. *Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run* is adding The Mandalorian and Grogu. 👶💚 Because Disney needs more ways to shove Baby Yoda in your face. Now, instead of just collecting coaxium (whatever that is), you’ll be doing bounties for Mando. Exciting! 💫 The Engineer role is getting an “active part.” ⚙️ You get to choose locations and talk to Grogu. Prepare for lines longer than a Wookiee’s arm. 🐻
Animation Courtyard is being “completely redesigned” into a Disney Burbank campus clone. 🏢 Great! More generic buildings! Star Wars Launch Bay is getting the boot. 👋 Good riddance! *The Little Mermaid – A Musical Adventure* survives. 🧜♀️ Why? Who knows!
And finally, Animal Kingdom! 🐒 *Zootopia* is invading the Tree of Life with *Zootopia: Better Zoogether*. 🌳 Replacing *It’s Tough to Be a Bug*. 🐛➡️🦊 A nine-minute 4D experience! 👓 Smells included! 👃 Because that’s what everyone wants: to smell a cartoon fox. 🤡 Fans of Gazelle (voiced by Shakira) get a “special performance”.💃
So, there you have it. More reasons to drain your bank account at the House of Mouse. 💸 CGM recommends mixing new with old because the new stuff will be crowded. Duh. And another trip is “just around the corner.” Translation: we’ve got you hooked for life, sucker! 😂😂😂
