Alright, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this), buckle up because we’re about to dissect some drama! ARDENNERY, featuring the legendary (allegedly) Michael Denner, the dude who used to shred for MERCYFUL FATE before things got… complicated, graced the stage at Nordic Noise 2025. They played the classics, you know, the ones everyone *really* cares about from “Don’t Break The Oath”, “Melissa”, and that one EP. Apparently, someone filmed it, so if you’re into grainy footage and questionable audio quality, knock yourself out. 🤘
So, Denner, bless his heart, was all excited about playing with the ARTILLERY guys, calling them “respected” and saying these songs “shaped his career.” Which is cute. It’s always nice to see someone so enthusiastic about their second (or third, or maybe even fourth) act. 🙄
Apparently, ARDENNERY was a last-minute replacement for BLITZKRIEG, who had “lineup changes.” Translation: someone quit, got fired, or finally realized they were too old to be rocking out in spandex. Happens to the best of us… eventually. 🤷♀️
Now, here’s where the tea gets piping hot. Remember when MERCYFUL FATE decided to reunite back in 2019? Yeah, well, Denner didn’t get an invite. Ouch. Talk about getting ghosted by your own band. 👻
King Diamond, the, uh, *unique* frontman of MERCYFUL FATE, finally addressed the elephant in the room in a 2022 interview with Creem magazine. And boy, did he deliver the shade. He basically said Denner and drummer Kim Ruzz are “simply not here” for reasons he’s *totally* not going to get into, but they involve lies and not being “absolutely perfect” for the band. He went on to imply that Denner thinks he should have been included, but King‘s not about to fire someone who’s “beyond anything I played with on that spot in the band.” So, there you have it. 🤷♂️ It’s not you, Michael, it’s… well, actually, it *is* you.
King then clarified that this isn’t a “reunion,” it’s just “picking it up again because the stars are aligned correctly.” Which, let’s be honest, sounds like something a cult leader would say. He and Hank Shermann (the *other* guitarist) have a philosophy: “Either we do it 200 percent, or we don’t do it.” Which probably means they’re charging an arm and a leg for tickets. 🤑
But wait, there’s more! Denner, bless his eternally wounded soul, told Chaoszine that it was “heartbreaking” to be excluded. He feels like it’s “not my band anymore” because they didn’t even *talk* to him about it. He misses his friends from the ’80s, but not the “people who [are] in the band today.” Passive-aggressive much? 😂
He then goes on to say he hopes they play well because “the more records we can sell and the more money I will get in the end.” So, it’s all about the Benjamins, baby! He admits it’s “heartbreaking” to see someone else playing “my signature stuff,” but then throws a bone to Mike Wead, saying he’s a “great guitarist” and a “good friend.” Backhanded compliment, anyone? 🎁
The real kicker is the story about the DENNER/SHERMANN album cover. Apparently, King got upset because the artwork was “a bit more than a bit similar” to ‘Melissa’ and ‘Don’t Break The Oath’ and tried to stop the album. Because, you know, imitation is the sincerest form of… getting sued. 👨⚖️
Denner then declares that he and King are “two old assholes who don’t wanna stretch the hand out and say, ‘Okay, let bygones be bygones.'” Well, at least he’s self-aware. He also claims that Hank told him, “‘*If* we do a MERCYFUL FATE reunion, it should be with you and me. No question about it.'” But then King came along with “Metal Blade Records and money; big salaries,” and Hank sold out faster than you can say “sell your soul to rock n’ roll.” 😈
Denner concludes that he and Hank haven’t spoken since, and that their “telepathy” is now just a distant memory. He wishes Hank the best, but “his future will be without me.” Cue the dramatic music! 😭
When asked if there’s a chance they’ll reconnect, Michael said, “Not in a million years. That will never happen.” He can never trust Hank again because he “broke my heart and he stabbed me in the back.” He feels sorry for himself and Hank, calling it “a loss.” Talk about holding a grudge! 😠
Anyway, MERCYFUL FATE‘s last album came out in 1999, so maybe it’s time for everyone to just move on. But hey, drama sells, right? 🤷
Apparently, MERCYFUL FATE is “unquestionably” important to metal. We’ll take their word for it. 👍
And METALLICA did that medley thing on “Garage Inc.” Okay, cool. We’re sure MERCYFUL FATE appreciated the royalty check. 💰
Lars Ulrich played drums on a version of “Return Of The Vampire.” Danes gotta stick together, I guess. 🇩🇰
And, sadly, original bassist Timi Hansen died in 2019. RIP. 🙏
So, there you have it. The saga of MERCYFUL FATE continues, filled with bitterness, regret, and enough drama to fuel a reality TV show. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go listen to some ABBA. At least they know how to stay friends (sort of). ✌️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
