Just when you thought your digital game library couldn’t possibly get any more bloated, GeForce NOW has decided to throw five more games into the mix. Because apparently, we needed even more excuses to avoid going outside and touching grass.
Let’s talk about Screamer, the driving game that’s basically what would happen if Fast & Furious had a baby with your dad’s old Sega CD. This “tight-turning action racing game” is actually a comeback of the 1995 original, proving that game developers have finally run out of new ideas and are now just recycling our childhood like it’s aluminum cans. The story follows the Screamer tournament, where five teams compete for 100 billion dollars. One hundred BILLION. Because apparently, the developers have never heard of inflation or basic economic principles.
Meanwhile, Honkai: Star Rail is getting its 4.1 “Unraveled for Daybreak” update, which sounds like something a philosophy major would name their thesis. This update brings us the Star Rail FEST, an interstellar celebration that’s apparently so important it needed capital letters. The fest is packed with new zones, challenges, and characters, including Detective Ashveil, who joins as a five-star lightning hunter. Because what every gacha game needs is another character with a tragic backstory and electrical powers.
But wait, there’s more! In addition to Screamer (which honestly sounds like what happens when you mix Red Bull and Mountain Dew), we’re getting four other games that apparently time-traveled from 1998. Let’s take a look at this blast from the past:
- Screamer (New release on Steam, March 26, GeForce RTX 5080-ready) – Because nothing says “modern gaming” like a game that’s older than most Twitch streamers.
- King’s Quest (New release on Ubisoft, March 25) – The classic RPG where you listen to your dad tell stories about when games were just pictures that moved slightly.
- BATTLETECH (Xbox, available on Game Pass) – For when you want to feel like you’re piloting a giant robot but also doing your taxes.
- Despot’s Game (Xbox, available on Microsoft) – Sounds like what happens when you give a toddler control of a game studio.
- Diablo II: Resurrected (Steam) – Because sometimes you just need to go back to a time when clicking on things was considered a revolutionary gameplay mechanic.
It’s almost as if GeForce NOW looked at their library and said, “You know what? Let’s just throw in everything including the kitchen sink and that old N64 we found in the attic.” The selection is so retro it makes vinyl collectors look like they’re living in the future. I’m half expecting them to announce the next additions will be Pong and that game where you move a bar to hit a square.
But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe there’s a whole demographic out there that’s been desperately waiting to play King’s Quest on their modern PCs while wondering why their 4K monitor makes everything look like pixelated soup. Or perhaps there are people who’ve been holding their breath for Screamer, ready to experience the thrill of driving cars that handle like shopping carts with wonky wheels.
The real question is: with all these new additions, how many lifetimes will it take to actually play through everything? At this rate, GeForce NOW is becoming the digital equivalent of that drawer where you throw all your random cables and old phones, hoping someday you’ll need that 2003 Motorola charger again.
So congratulations, GeForce NOW users! You now have even more games to add to your “I’ll get to it eventually” pile, right next to that novel you’ve been meaning to write and that exercise routine you’ve been planning since 2019. Happy gaming!
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
