Oh, sweet baby Carmy! 🐻🔪 FX just HAD to announce that The Bear is getting a fifth season. Like we didn’t already know they’d milk this tortured chef for all he’s worth. Get ready for more anxiety-inducing kitchen chaos and existential dread, folks! 🙄
So, yeah, some “press release” dropped, probably written by Richie while he was tweaking on espresso and muttering about forks. 🍴 Apparently, after the fourth season of The Bear (which, let’s be honest, was probably just Carmy having another meltdown while Sydney tries to hold the whole damn place together), FX decided, “Hey, let’s keep traumatizing this guy!” No official release date yet for season five, but they’re aiming for July 2025. Because nothing says summer fun like watching a guy spiral into oblivion over beef sandwiches. 🤡
Some suit named Landgraf (probably wears a tie to bed) spewed some corporate jargon about how The Bear is a “fan favorite worldwide.” Yeah, because everyone loves watching a dysfunctional family scream at each other in a cramped kitchen! 🗣️ He also said something about the “magnificent story.” Magnificent? More like magnificently depressing! 😭
Oh, and let’s not forget the awards! 🏆 The Bear won, like, a billion Emmys. Because apparently, the Academy loves rewarding shows that make them feel uncomfortable about their own privileged lives. And AFI named it “Program of the Year.” Because nothing says “prestige television” like a show about a greasy spoon in Chicago. 🌭
In case you’ve been living under a rock (or, you know, have a life), The Bear is about some fancy chef named Carmy (played by Jeremy Allen White, who clearly hasn’t eaten a carb since 2012) who inherits his dead brother’s Italian beef shop. Because what better way to honor your sibling’s memory than by running a failing business and having a mental breakdown? 🤯 And don’t even get me started on the “deep story about family, loss, addiction, and mental health.” It’s basically a therapy session disguised as a TV show. 🛋️
Season four of The Bear, which dropped all ten episodes on June 25, 2024, has an 85% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Which means 15% of people have taste. 🍅 You can stream it on Disney+. Because nothing says “family-friendly entertainment” like a show about suicide and substance abuse. 🐭 Enjoy! 🤪
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
