🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Ghost of Slipknot Past is Back, and He’s Brought a Crowzade! 🎉 Let the 666 Days of Nostalgia Commence!
Hold onto your poser masks and prep your finest Jncos, because the prophecy has finally been fulfilled, and it’s dripping with the vintage sweat of 1996! 🤘 The original frontman of the Iowa sonic terrorists known as SLIPKNT—the man, the myth, the eyebrow-shaver himself, Anders Colsefni—is returning to the stage to feed, kill, and repeat the holy grail of heavy metal history. That’s right, maggots (or should I say, the OG CROWZ), on June 6, 2026, at the holiest of holies, Wooly’s in Des Moines, Iowa, the time machine is cranking up, and the fuel is pure, uncut “Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.” energy! 🔥
Let’s be real: while the current lineup of the ‘KNOT is out here headlining festivals and playing pyrotechnic tennis matches with fire, Anders is taking us on a spiritual journey back to the days when the masks were terrifying and the production budget was roughly the price of a large pepperoni pizza. 🍕 He’s formed a new collective of “old-school Midwest musicians” intriguingly named THE CROWZ. It’s not a tribute band if the OG singer is screaming into the mic, right? It’s just… aggressive archeology. 🕵️♂️⛏️
“I’ll see you all on 6.6.26,” Anders teased, which is basically heavy metal speak for “Prepare your necks for whiplash and your ears for auditory trauma.” Tickets go on presale with the code “GENTLY”—which is honestly terrifying because nothing about this music is gentle. If you want to secure your spot in the mosh pit of history, you’d better log onto axs.com and fight the scalpers like a warrior. 💻🥊
Now, let’s rewind the VHS tape to March 2024, when Colsefni decided it was time to re-record this legendary slab of audio violence. He dedicated this updated version to the late, great Joey Jordison and Paul Gray. It’s a tribute fit for kings of chaos, ensuring that the ‘KNOT family (specifically the “Maggot generation” who probably weren’t even born when this album dropped) can finally stream the roots of their favorite band. 🌳 The original 1996 run of 600 copies has been the stuff of bootleg legend for 25 years—a mythical cassette that allegedly holds the secrets of the universe, or at least the secrets of Iowa’s basement scene. 📼✨
But how did we get here? How did this dusty relic get polished up for the streaming era? Enter KAOSIS, a band from New Zealand that apparently had the job of doubling as Anders’s backing band and tour guides in the land of the long white cloud. 🥝 During the “Numetal Mayhem” tour in Australia, they played the entire “Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.” album front to back—the first time it had been heard live since Bill Clinton was in office. 🎷 It was on this tour that Anders looked around and thought, “You know what the world needs? More raw, unfiltered screaming from 1996.”
So, the project moved to New Zealand (Aotearoa, if you’re fancy) for recording and mixing, while Anders laid down his vocals back in Iowa with his son, Junior. Picture that: a father-son bonding session over reverb and guttural growls. wholesome! 🏰👨👦 The recording claims to be faithful to the original but with “new arrangements,” which hopefully means the guitar solos are still face-melting but with fewer technical difficulties.
THE STRANGE TWIST OF FATE (OR TWITTER):
Here is where the plot thickens like a graveyard stew. Anders has been fairly absent from the mainstream metal chatter for decades, working construction and playing in bands like PAINFACE while the ‘KNOT conquered the globe. But the nostalgia machine cares not for your day jobs! 🚧👷
In a twist that feels written by a soap opera writer, Corey Taylor, the man who took over the vocals and became a global rock superstar, publicly endorsed Anders’s tour. Corey hopped on Twitter (or X, whatever Elon is calling it today) and said, “Really wish I could be there to see these shows, but I know @anderscolsefni is going to crush them.” 🐍❤️
Wait, what? The usurper rooting for the OG? Anders responded in a statement that was surprisingly wholesome, admitting that Corey is actually his best friend in the band. “There has only ever been a kinship between us,” he said, effectively shutting down the fan fiction of a backstage cage match. 🤼♂️ Anders even admitted that Corey’s first hit song, “Wait and Bleed,” was a banger he couldn’t hate even if he tried. “Kudos to you, guys,” he said, probably while weeping into a flannel shirt. 👕💧
THE “I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SH*T” ERA:
It’s important to remember that in 2019, Anders flat-out refused to rejoin the band. In a very honest, very “I have bills to pay” Facebook post, he explained that he’s been working concrete construction for 27 years. He literally said, “I’m gonna need the bennies — my body is going to shit!” 💀😂
He wasn’t wrong. While the current SLIPKNOT members are doing calisthenics on stage, Anders was out there building the actual concrete jungle. He’s trading his mask for a hard hat, and honestly, we respect the grind. He’s not looking to be homeless when the tour ends; he’s looking for a pension! 🏦📉 But for “Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.”, he’s willing to risk the sciatica and the lack of dental coverage. That is dedication. 🦷💥
THE HISTORY LESSON YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED:
Before the massive arenas, there was the Safari Club. In April 1996, Anders, Paul Gray, Joey Jordison, and Shawn “Clown” Crahan threw on masks and made noise that scared the locals. This was the primordial ooze from which the ‘KNOT crawled. 🐍
Fast forward to October 1996: 600 copies of “Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.” were released. It’s a math rock, industrial, nu-metal fever dream. It’s the audio equivalent of walking through a haunted funhouse that’s been left out in the rain. 🌧️👻 For years, this album was like Bigfoot—you heard stories, you saw blurry photos (album art), but you couldn’t find the actual evidence on Spotify. Until now. (Well, the re-recording, anyway).
THE KERRANG! CONNECTION:
When the tour was announced, Corey Taylor shared a Kerrang! article about it. It’s rare to see the two eras of SLIPKNOT acknowledge each other so openly, but here we are. It’s a beautiful (and slightly confusing) reunion of the tribes. The Maggots and the Crowz are merging into one giant, chaotic family reunion. 👪👨👩👧👦
FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE ABYSS:
Anders promises to bring the “same level of aggression and volatility” as 1996, but with the skills he’s honed over decades. He’s not that “idiot flopping around onstage with a ridiculous outfit acting like a caveman” anymore (his words, not mine! 🦍). He’s a seasoned veteran ready to scream his lungs out for the memory of Joey and Paul.
So, if you’re ready to experience the sound of a basement in Iowa exploding in slow motion, mark your calendars for 6.6.26. Use the presale code “GENTLY” (again, irony is dead), and prepare to witness history. 📅👀
Whether you’re a fan of the early chaos or the later anthems, one thing is certain: Anders Colsefni is back, the CROWZ are circling, and Des Moines is about to get very, very loud. 🤟🧟♂️
See you in the pit… or at the concrete pouring site the next morning. Whatever comes first. 🏗️🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
