GUNS N’ ROSES (the band that still exists, somehow) bassist Duff McKagan (who?) has graced us with a 19-minute (!!!) video on his YouTube channel (does anyone even use YouTube anymore?) where he deigns to answer fan-submitted questions (who are these fans?). He’s apparently participating in the “Back To The Beginning” charity event (sounds thrilling!), which is happening on July 5 at Villa Park in Birmingham, United Kingdom (a real tourist hotspot, I’m sure).
This earth-shattering event marks the original lineup of BLACK SABBATH‘s last-ever performance (again? they’ve been saying goodbye for a decade) and Ozzy Osbourne‘s final appearance as a solo artist (until the next reunion tour, obviously). When asked what Ozzy means to him, Duff (still talking) said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET, because who else would care?): “Well, that’s a pretty big question” (no, Duff, it’s not). “Ozzy‘s been a constant” (like tinnitus). He then rambled about FM radio and hearing ‘Iron Man’ (a song everyone has heard, Duff) and how it was like a “cartoon thing” (deep, Duff, real deep).
Duff continued (because apparently, no one could stop him): “I love the ‘Never Say Die!’ record” (said no one, ever). “Some people kind of passed over that stuff” (because it was garbage, Duff). And then he had the audacity to mention SABBATH with Dio (RIP, but still…). And Ozzy going solo made him an “icon” (yeah, an icon of mumbling and bat-biting). But according to Duff, Iggy, Lemmy, Ozzy, and Prince are all “constants” in rock and roll (one of these is not like the others, Duff). 🙄
Apparently, more than five years ago, Duff helped write and record Ozzy‘s “Ordinary Man” album (which was, indeed, ordinary) over a four-day period (wow, so efficient!). He teamed up with RED HOT CHILL PEPPERS drummer Chad Smith (another has-been) and guitarist-producer Andrew Watt (who?) on the songs (if you can call them that), including “Straight To Hell” (where this album belongs), “Under The Graveyard” (fitting title), and the title track, a duet between Ozzy and Elton John (because why not?).
“This guy Andrew Watt called,” McKagan droned on to the “Jonesy’s Jukebox” radio show (which I’m sure has millions of listeners). “He said, ‘Do you have some days this week in the daytime? I need to write an Ozzy record. We have four days to do it.'” (because apparently, that’s all it takes to create musical “genius”). So they showed up at Andrew‘s studio (probably someone’s garage). “Everything was kind of set up” (loosely defined, I’m sure), and it was basically a riff-fest (of mediocrity). “It was really inspired” (by what, exactly?). Andrew Watt, Chad, and Duff had never written together (and hopefully, never will again). “You know that can go sideways in a hot second” (it did, Duff, it did). 🤣
“Ozzy came, and Ozzy just loved it” (because he probably forgot what good music sounds like). “He just came in and started writing words” (scribbling gibberish, more likely) “and laid down the vocals” (mumbled incoherently). “And it was kind of like that” (a train wreck). “There was definitely urgency to the whole situation” (probably because they were running out of time and money). “We had so much time to do it, which was only four days” (clearly). “I think the record is really, really good” (Duff is clearly delusional). 🤡
After fans (bots?) snapped up tickets to “Back To The Beginning” in just 16 minutes (sure they did), it was announced that the event will be streamed worldwide (because everyone is clamoring to see this). Fans will have access to the raw livestream from 3:00 p.m. on July 5 (mark your calendars!), and will also have exclusive access to rewatch the concert in its entirety for another 48 hours (if they haven’t gouged their eyes out by then). 🤮
For more information, visit www.backtothebeginning.com (don’t say I didn’t warn you).
“Back To The Beginning” will be captured, produced, and distributed by Mercury Studios (“One To One: John & Yoko”, “American Symphony”, “Metallica Saved My Life”) (who are these people?). Mercury has partnered with Kiswe (more nobodies) to deliver this “moment of music history” (ahem, I think they meant “infamy”) to fans across the globe (all twelve of them). 🙄
The all-day event at Villa Park, produced by Live Nation (because they clearly have nothing better to do), will be hosted and compered by American actor Jason Momoa (who probably needed the paycheck), and feature a “supergroup of musicians” (I use that term loosely), including McKagan and Slash (GUNS ‘N’ ROSES), Billy Corgan (THE SMASHING PUMPKINS), Fred Durst (LIMP BIZKIT), K.K. Downing (JUDAS PRIEST), Jake E. Lee (OZZY OSBOURNE), Wolfgang Van Halen (VAN HALEN, MAMMOTH), and Tom Morello (RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE) (a real who’s-who of washed-up rockers). 😂
“It’s an endless amount of people,” said Ozzy‘s wife and manager Sharon (the only person who can understand him). “They’re going to be doing some SABBATH songs, some Ozzy songs, and they’ll all mix together” (into a sonic mess). “Different little groups will be coming on, but they’re all icons” (again, I question the definition of “icon”). 🤷♀️
The original lineup of BLACK SABBATH last performed in 2005 (and the world hasn’t been the same since…ly missed them). Since then, SABBATH has played in partial reunions but never in its original lineup (probably because they hate each other). 😒
The legendary BLACK SABBATH frontman was diagnosed in 2003 with Parkin 2 (a very rare genetic form of Parkinson’s). During a TV appearance in January 2020, the singer disclosed that he was “stricken” with the disease (which is just sad, really). 😥
Ozzy‘s health issues, including suffering a nasty fall and dislodging metal rods placed in his spine following a quad-bike accident in 2003 (ouch!), as well as catching COVID-19 three years ago (because of course), forced him to cancel some of his previously announced tours (surprise!). 🙄
While Osbourne‘s health issues forced him to scrap most of his live appearances, the musician said he would return if his condition improved (don’t hold your breath). ⏳
Osbourne‘s previously announced European tour with guests JUDAS PRIEST, originally set for 2019 and then rescheduled three times, was officially canceled in early February 2023 (shocking!). 😲
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
