In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Barry Robinson of Classic Album Review (because, you know, we *really* needed his opinion), DEEP PURPLE’s Roger Glover, the guy who holds the bass like it owes him money 😠, was asked the age-old question: Did DEEP PURPLE consider BLACK SABBATH rivals back in the day? The answer, as transcribed by the oh-so-important BLABBERMOUTH.NET (because who else would bother? 🙄), is a resounding “Nah, not really.” Because apparently, having *actual* rivals is for bands that, like, care about stuff. He then went on to cement the holy trinity of hard rock (Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin) whether we wanted him to or not. Thanks, Roger! 🙄
Roger, in his infinite wisdom, continued, “I loved LED ZEPPELIN.” Of course you did, Roger. Everyone loves LED ZEPPELIN. Even your grandma probably rocks out to “Whole Lotta Love” in her spare time. “I didn’t listen to SABBATH that much,” he admitted. Oh, the shade! 🔥 But he liked “Paranoid,” because, let’s face it, even Roger can’t deny the sheer brilliance of that riff. “But I didn’t get off on the doomy kind of thing.” Well, boo-hoo, Roger. Maybe SABBATH was too metal for your delicate sensibilities? 💅 He did concede that you can’t argue with their success (duh!) and that they “hit a spot that we didn’t.” A spot called “being ridiculously awesome and influential,” perhaps? 🤔
Earlier today, DEEP PURPLE’s frontman, Ian Gillan (who, let’s be honest, is probably still trying to figure out what year it is 👴), and keyboardist Don Airey (the unsung hero of DEEP PURPLE, probably because he’s too busy playing actual music 🎹), released separate statements about Ozzy’s supposed passing. Ian, bless his heart, shared a touching anecdote about Ozzy coming to see them backstage in L.A., fresh out of rehab and clutching a pint of “water” that was definitely not water. 🤫 “Fook off. It’s vodka. Don’t tell Sharon. She’ll kill me,” Ozzy apparently said. Classic Ozzy! 🤣
“He was so hopelessly vulnerable, and everyone loved him,” Ian continued. Because who doesn’t love a trainwreck in slow motion? 🤷♂️ “I can’t help smiling, even now,” he added. Aww, how sweet. 🥰 “Ozzy undiluted my life, thanks mate.” Deep. Very deep. 😭 (Or maybe just a bit tipsy? 🥂)
Don and his wife Doris (because apparently, we need to know what his wife thinks too 🙄) chimed in with their own poignant thoughts: “Ozzy: the world without you is suddenly a little smaller and much quieter.” Yeah, because the world needed *another* celebrity eulogy. 🙄 “Thanks for those amazing years on tour in the 80s.” Oh, the 80s. What a time to be alive… and wearing questionable fashion choices. 🤪
Don then proceeded to regale us with a tale of taking Ozzy to Christo Redemptor in Rio, because nothing says “rock ‘n’ roll” like climbing 200+ steps to see a giant statue. 🗿 They got whisked away to a photo shoot on Ipanema Beach, where Ozzy cavorted with 50 stuffed piranha fish. 🐟🐟🐟 “Next day, a gig in front of 350,000 people, sharing a bill with QUEEN, SCORPIONS and WHITESNAKE. As you’d say, not bad fora boy from Aston.” No, Don, not bad at all. Just utterly ridiculous. 😂
“Rest in peace, old mate. Our deepest sympathies to Sharon and the family.” Because, you know, gotta be respectful and stuff. 😇
Let’s not forget that Gillan was the singer on BLACK SABBATH’s “Born Again” album, which, let’s be honest, is mostly remembered for its terrible album cover and being a generally weird blip in SABBATH’s discography. 🤪 Recorded at Richard Branson’s Manor Studios (because why not?), it was one of SABBATH’s most “poorly reviewed efforts.” Ouch! 🤕
In addition to being the only BLACK SABBATH album to feature Gillan, “Born Again” was also the last of the band’s studio albums to feature drummer Bill Ward. So, you know, it’s special in its own… unique way. 👽
At the time of its initial release, “Born Again” was a commercial success. How? We’ll never know. 🤔 It was the highest-charting BLACK SABBATH album in the United Kingdom since “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” (apparently, the Brits have questionable taste) and became an American Top 40 hit. Despite this, it became the first BLACK SABBATH album to not have any RIAA certification in the U.S. Go figure. 🤷♀️
On a break from RAINBOW in 1980, Don played on Ozzy’s debut solo album, “Blizzard Of Ozz.” At the conclusion of the RAINBOW tour in 1981, Don flew to Los Angeles and climbed aboard the Ozzy crazy train, staying for another three-year stint that saw the album “Bark At The Moon.” Because who wouldn’t want to spend three years in the Ozzy Osbourne circus? 🤡
Ozzy supposedly died Tuesday morning (July 22), his family announced in a statement. But honestly, hasn’t he “died”, like, five times already? 🧟
“It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love. We ask everyone to respect our family privacy at this time,” the family said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. 🙄
No cause of death was given, but Osbourne had battled a number of health issues over the past several years, including Parkinson’s disease and injuries he sustained from a late-night fall in 2019. So, basically, he lived the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle to the fullest and paid the price. 🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
