OMG! 😱 Disney, those woke snowflakes ❄️, and ABC (Always Broadcasting Crap) have officially announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live! 🤮 will shamble back onto our screens tomorrow, Tuesday, September 23. Why? Because apparently, suspending the show after Kimmel’s ✨hilarious✨ comments about Charlie Kirk was just a tad too much for the delicate flowers 🌸 at Disney. They temporarily cancelled the show after Kimmel’s oh-so-witty remarks about the death of the conservative activist Charlie Kirk.
In a statement that probably took a whole team of PR gurus to craft, Disney whined:
Last Wednesday, we made the decision to suspend production on the show to avoid further inflaming a tense situation at an emotional moment for our country. It is a decision we made because we felt some of the comments were ill-timed and thus insensitive. We have spent the last days having thoughtful conversations with Jimmy, and after those conversations, we reached the decision to return the show on Tuesday.
So, basically, Disney and ABC decided to yank Jimmy Kimmel Live! off the air last Wednesday because Kimmel, bless his heart ❤️, decided to share his profound thoughts on the MAGA crowd. He said that the country “hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.” How dare he have an opinion, right? 🙄
Apparently, a bunch of local TV station owners, like Nexstar Media and Sinclair, got their panties in a twist 🥨 after Kimmel’s genius commentary and threatened to pull the show. Oh noes! Their announcements came after Federal Communications Commission chair Brendan Carr, who is clearly part of the deep state 🤫, suggested that network affiliates should “push back” against ABC. The outrage! The horror! 😱
While some people, including the former President Donald Trump, celebrated Kimmel’s temporary exile from the airwaves (because who needs comedy, amirite? 😂), a bunch of celebrities 🌟 and the ACLU threw a hissy fit 😭. They released a letter claiming that Disney was attacking freedom of speech and that the government was trying to censor anyone who disagreed with them. Cry me a river 🌊. It’s all just a big conspiracy, I tell you! 👽
We’re all on the edge of our seats waiting to see how Kimmel will address this whole “being canceled for a week” situation. Will he apologize? Will he double down on his opinions? Who cares? 🤷♀️ Either way, it’s sure to be a masterclass in virtue signaling and outrage baiting. Get your popcorn ready 🍿.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
