The weekend is upon us, and you know what that means – a slew of new movies to stream from the comfort of your own home. Because, let’s be real, who needs human interaction when you can watch Steven Spielberg’s latest sci-fi drama, Disclosure Day, in your pajamas?
As we trudge through the never-ending cycle of new releases, it’s worth noting that this week’s offerings include the animated Avatar Aang: The Last Airbender, Masters of the Universe, and a reboot of the comedy franchise Scary Movie. Because, you know, the world was just missing a reboot of Scary Movie.
For those who are interested, The Mandalorian and Grogu is also available to stream, because Disney is still trying to milk that Star Wars cash cow for all it’s worth. The sci-fi adventure follows Din Djarin and Grogu as they work alongside the New Republic to hunt down the Empire’s remaining forces. Yay, more Star Wars.
Streaming Options Galore
If you’re looking for something to watch this weekend, you’re in luck. Disclosure Day and Scary Movie are available to stream on Prime Video, Apple TV, and Fandango at Home. Because, you know, we didn’t already have enough streaming services to choose from. Avatar Aang: The Last Airbender is available on Paramount+, because ViacomCBS needs to justify the existence of its streaming platform somehow. And Masters of the Universe is available on Amazon Prime Video, because why not?
It’s worth noting that these releases are just a drop in the bucket of the endless stream of content that’s being churned out by Hollywood. It’s like they say: “content is king,” and by “king,” I mean “a never-ending pile of mediocre movies and TV shows that are only there to distract us from the impending doom of our existence.”
The Nostalgia Train Keeps on Chugging
It’s also worth noting that Masters of the Universe is a reboot of a classic franchise, because Hollywood has officially run out of original ideas. I mean, who needs new and innovative storytelling when you can just dig up an old IP and slap a new coat of paint on it? It’s like they say: “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” and by “it,” I mean “the nostalgia-fueled cash cow that is franchise filmmaking.”
In any case, if you’re feeling nostalgic for the ’80s and want to watch a movie that’s been carefully crafted to appeal to your sense of nostalgia, then Masters of the Universe is the movie for you. Just don’t expect anything too original or groundbreaking, because let’s be real, this is a reboot of a classic franchise.
As the weekend comes to a close, and you’re scrolling through your streaming services, trying to decide what to watch, just remember: the Content Mines remain fully operational, and the Merchandising Department is always hard at work, churning out new and exciting ways to separate you from your hard-earned cash. So go ahead, grab some popcorn, and settle in for a long weekend of mediocre movie magic. Your wallet (and the Hollywood executives) will thank you.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
