Lucasfilm is at it again, folks. Because what the world really needed was another Star Wars trilogy. Deadline reported over the weekend that Jon Watts, the director behind the Spider-Man: Homecoming trilogy, has been tapped to helm the first installment in a new trilogy of the Skywalker Saga. Because, you know, the Skywalker Saga wasn’t already exhaustively concluded with The Rise of Skywalker. Apparently, Lucasfilm has decided that the best way to move forward is to go back to the well and revisit the same characters and storylines that they’ve been milking for decades.
The new trilogy, which is being penned by Simon Kinberg, will reportedly serve as the next chapter in the Skywalker Saga, with Daisy Ridley possibly reprising her role as Rey. Because, of course, Lucasfilm wouldn’t dare try to introduce new characters or storylines that might actually be interesting. No, instead they’ll just stick with what they know and love: nostalgia. It’s not like they’re trying to recapture the magic of the original trilogy or anything (oh wait, that’s exactly what they’re doing). The fact that Lucasfilm has “tapped” Jon Watts to direct this new trilogy is a clear indication that they’re looking to appeal to a newer, younger audience who may not be as familiar with the Star Wars franchise.
It’s worth noting that Lucasfilm has a plethora of other Star Wars projects in development, including a trilogy from The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson, a project from Marvel president Kevin Feige, and a movie from James Mangold about the earliest origins of the Jedi. But hey, who needs any of those when you can just make another Skywalker Saga movie? I mean, it’s not like the Star Wars universe is vast and complex, with countless stories and characters waiting to be explored. Nope, let’s just stick with the same old characters and storylines that we’ve been seeing for decades. The fact that none of these other projects have gone into production is a clear indication that Lucasfilm is struggling to come up with new and interesting ideas.
The Never-Ending Story
The Skywalker Saga has been going on for decades, and it seems like Lucasfilm is determined to keep it going forever. I mean, why bother trying to come up with new and interesting stories when you can just keep rehashing the same old characters and plotlines? It’s not like audiences are getting tired of the same old thing or anything. The fact that The Mandalorian and Grogu underperformed at the box office is a clear indication that audiences are starting to get a little tired of the same old Star Wars formula. But hey, who needs to take risks and try new things when you can just play it safe and stick with what you know?
The previous installment in the Skywalker Saga, The Rise of Skywalker, was supposed to be the conclusion of the saga. But apparently, Lucasfilm has decided that they’re not done with it yet. Because, you know, the story of the Skywalker family is just so compelling that it needs to be continued. I mean, it’s not like we’ve already seen the same story played out a million times before or anything. The fact that Lucasfilm is bringing back Rey, a character who was supposed to be the hero of the new trilogy, is a clear indication that they’re out of ideas and are just relying on nostalgia to carry them through.
It’s also worth noting that Jon Watts has a proven track record of success with the Spider-Man franchise. But let’s be real, folks, Spider-Man is a much more straightforward franchise than Star Wars. I mean, it’s not like Spider-Man has a vast and complex universe with countless characters and storylines or anything. Nope, Spider-Man is a relatively simple franchise, and it’s easy to see why Jon Watts was able to succeed with it. But Star Wars is a whole different ball game. It’s a franchise that requires a deep understanding of the universe and its complexities, and it’s not clear if Jon Watts is up to the task.
The Nostalgia Train
It seems like Lucasfilm is hopping on the nostalgia train, and they’re not getting off anytime soon. I mean, why bother trying to come up with new and interesting stories when you can just appeal to people’s nostalgia? It’s not like audiences are getting tired of the same old thing or anything. The fact that Lucasfilm is bringing back Rey and the Skywalker Saga is a clear indication that they’re relying on nostalgia to carry them through. Because, you know, nostalgia is a powerful thing, and it can make people forget about things like “quality” and “originality”.
The fact that the next Star Wars film, Star Wars: Starfighter, starring Ryan Gosling, opens in theaters on May 28, 2027, is a clear indication that Lucasfilm is committed to keeping the franchise alive, no matter what. I mean, who needs quality control when you can just churn out movie after movie and hope that something sticks? It’s not like the Star Wars franchise has a reputation for being a high-quality franchise or anything. Nope, let’s just keep making movies and hope that people keep showing up.
And so, the Star Wars saga continues, folks. Because, you know, it’s not like we’ve already seen the same story played out a million times before or anything. Nope, let’s just keep going back to the well and revisiting the same characters and storylines that we’ve been seeing for decades. Because, you know, that’s what audiences really want: more of the same old thing. The Content Mines remain fully operational, and it seems like Lucasfilm is digging deeper than ever before. Somewhere, a Focus Group earned another bonus, and executives reportedly nodded very seriously during an expensive meeting. Marketing departments have once again declared history to be “made,” and every trailer is apparently “the most anticipated event of the decade.” Yeah, because that’s exactly what we need: more of the same old marketing hype. Another beloved franchise has successfully avoided the sweet release of death, and we’re all just along for the ride.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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