Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🎉 The SPJA (whoever THEY are) finally dropped the Anime Expo 2025 schedule! Prepare yourselves, weebs, for another year of overpriced merch, questionable cosplay, and lines longer than your waifu’s hair! 🍜
The anime community (aka, the internet’s favorite punching bag) is descending upon Los Angeles once again for another year of “celebrations”! The SPJA (Society for the Promotion of Japanese Animation – still don’t know what that is) has unleashed its full Anime Expo 2025 programming, promising major industry leaders (who?), special guests (are they REALLY that special?), and panels (prepare for awkward Q&As). Anime Expo 2025 will be held from July 3-6 at the Los Angeles Convention Center (prepare for sweaty crowds and questionable hygiene). This year’s sponsors include Aniplex of America (who?), Arc System Works America (fighting games, yawn 😴), ATLUS/SEGA (Persona fans, assemble!), Bandai Namco Entertainment (Gundam is cool, I guess), Crunchyroll (the reason you’re all broke), Funko (more plastic garbage!), Hulu (wait, they have anime?), KADOKAWA WORLD ENTERTAINMENT, INC (still who?), Konami (Silent Hill is dead, get over it), Netflix (killing anime one adaptation at a time), Square Enix (Final Fantasy is overrated), Takaratomy (toys for manchildren), VIZ (Naruto is old news), Webtoon (more vertical scrolling?), and “so many more” (aka, companies you’ve never heard of).
Kicking off this extravaganza of anime absurdity is none other than Naoki Yoshida, the visionary behind FINAL FANTASY XIV (the MMO that saved his career) and FINAL FANTASY XVI (the one everyone forgot about). He’ll be an “honored guest” (probably just wants a free vacation). Also gracing us with their presence are Manabu Otsuka and Hiroya Hasegawa from MAPPA Co., Ltd. (the studio that’s currently overworked and underpaid), who will be discussing Chainsaw Man—The Movie: Reze Arc (more like Chainsaw Man—The Movie: We Need More Money) and other “MAPPA-related topics” (aka, how to squeeze more blood out of their animators).
But wait, there’s more! Mokumokuren, the mangaka behind The Summer Hikaru Died (sounds depressing), will be there to talk about the upcoming anime adaptation on Netflix (prepare for disappointment). Speaking of Netflix, they’ll be showing off the premiere of SAKAMOTO DAYS Cour 2 (never heard of it), Record of Ragnarok III (still going?), My Melody and Kuromi (for the Hello Kitty fanatics), and “more surprises!” (probably more garbage).
There will also be “massive events/panels” (aka, crowded rooms with bad sound) celebrating the likes of Jujutsu Kaisen (overhyped), My Hero Academia (still going?), Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (breathing techniques are a scam), and “many more” (aka, the same shows every year). Makoto Furukawa, the voice of Saitama (the bald guy), will be talking about One Punch Man Season 3 (if it ever comes out). And for those who are into the latest trendy anime, DAN DA DAN will be celebrating the launch of Season 2 with the English voice cast (who cares about the English dub?). Get ready for a “special behind-the-scenes look” (aka, awkward voice actors trying to be funny).
SEGA and ATLUS are teaming up for a panel to share the “behind-the-scenes story” (aka, corporate PR) of Persona 5: The Phantom X (a mobile game? Really?). They’ll be celebrating its global release with “exclusive freebies” (probably just cheap keychains) and a “special live performance” by Lyn Inaizumi (get ready for ear-splitting J-pop). On the gaming side, Konami will be unmasking SILENT HILL f (can they just let it die?), with producer Motoi Okamoto, writer Ryukishi07, and composer Akira Yamaoka (at least Yamaoka is still around). They’ll be offering “exclusive insights and never-before-seen footage” (probably just a trailer).
Spike Chunsoft Inc. is also joining the party with a panel spotlighting its 2025 video game lineup (prepare for visual novels). They’ll be giving away a “limited number of T-shirts” (prepare to fight for them) on a first-come, first-served basis.
Bandai Namco Entertainment America Inc. is offering attendees the chance to play DIGIMON STORY TIME STRANGER (Digimon is still a thing?) and TOWA AND THE GUARDIANS OF THE SACRED TREE (sounds generic). They’ll also have demos of SHADOW LABYRINTH (Pac-Man? Really?) and PATAPON 1+2 REPLAY (nostalgia bait). And for those who are into pain, they’ll have a photo op for CODE VEIN II (prepare for edgy vampires).
For the Hatsune Miku fans (the vocaloid is still kicking?), HATSUNE MIKU: COLORFUL STAGE! will be hosting a fan meeting event (prepare for screeching). The event will include a talk show with the voice actors, musical numbers, a “special reveal” (probably more DLC), and “more!” (probably more screeching).
And finally, for those who enjoy watching women beat each other up, the first Japanese female pro-wrestling league, Sukeban World Championship Fight, is coming to Anime Expo 2025. Prepare for a “one-of-a-kind experience” (aka, sweaty women in skimpy outfits). This event will take place at the North Plaza (prepare for long lines).
Last but not least, don’t forget to support the artists at Artist Alley (the only reason to go to Anime Expo)! They’re “busting their behinds” (probably sleep-deprived and broke) to create a wide array of “eye-catching artwork and crafts” (prepare for overpriced prints and keychains).
So there you have it, folks! Anime Expo 2025 promises to be another year of weeb chaos, corporate shilling, and overpriced everything. See you there (maybe)! 😜
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
