OMG!😱 The live-action Legend of Zelda is officially happening! But like, is it REALLY a step closer to reality, or just a step closer to another Hollywood dumpster fire? 🔥 Asking for a friend.🙄
Nintendo, bless their hearts🙏, dropped the bomb 💣 on X (formerly known as Twitter, may it rest in peace🕊️). Shigeru Miyamoto, the OG himself (who also birthed legends like Super Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong), did the honors.
Miyamoto-san (because we’re all sophisticated weebs 🌸 here): “This is Miyamoto. Zelda will be played by Bo Bragason-san, and Link by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth-san. I am very much looking forward to seeing both of them on the big screen.” Translation: “I hope they don’t screw this up. Please buy tickets. My retirement fund depends on it. 💰”
Bragason? Ainsworth? Who are these people? 🤔 Are they even Hylian? Do they even KNOW the struggle of finding all the koroks? 🌰 Please tell me they have seen Link get down with some cooking.
Bragason’s been slumming it in TV shows like Three Girls, The Jetty, and that Disney+ “gem,” Renegade Nell. 🤣 Ainsworth voiced Pinocchio (the wooden puppet! 🤥) in the live-action abomination, also haunted some houses and sandmanned it. So basically, they’re scraping the bottom of the “sorta-famous” barrel. But lets hope for the best.
The Legend of Zelda, born in the ancient times of 1986 on the NES (bow down, peasants! 🙏), has spawned a bajillion sequels and spinoffs. It’s always about Link, the boy in green, saving Princess Zelda (who’s apparently incapable of saving herself 🤷♀️) from Ganon, the pig-man. The games sell well! Duh! 😎 But can a movie capture the magic? Or will it be another Sonic the Hedgehog situation where fans demand a complete redesign after seeing the first trailer? 😬
Miyamoto is producing, alongside Avi Arad, the guy who brought us the Spiderman movies. So expect lots of unnecessary cameos, convoluted plotlines, and maybe a dance number.💃🕺 Nintendo and Sony revealed the live-action Zelda movie in 2023. Wes Ball is directing, fresh off of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. So, monkeys? 🐒 Will Link be swinging from vines instead of using his hookshot? 🎣
The Legend of Zelda movie is slated to hit theaters on May 7, 2027. 📅 Mark your calendars! Set your alarms! Start prepping your complaints now! ✍️ It’s going to be a wild ride. Buckle up, buttercups! 🚀
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
