Oh, sweet Odin’s beard! 🇸🇪⚔️ SABATON, those lovable Swedes who can’t stop singing about history even if their lives depended on it, have grEAT news! They’re gracing North America with their presence for a whopping 31 dates in early 2026! Yes, you read that right. Get ready to hear the same power chords and tales of yore you’ve heard a million times before! This epic saga coincides with the release of their new album, “Legends,” coming October 17 via Better Noise Music, which, let’s be honest, probably sounds exactly like the last 10 albums they’ve released. 🤷♂️
So, starting February 9 in sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida (because what’s more metal than palm trees? 🌴), they’ll be hitting all the usual spots – Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston – before finally calling it quits on April 20 in Vancouver, British Columbia. And because no metal tour is complete without some questionable supporting acts, POP EVIL (because apparently nu-metal is back? 🤔) and WINGS OF STEEL (whoever they are… probably someone’s uncle’s garage band).
Now, the part you REALLY care about: tickets! 🎫 Get ready to jump through hoops and sell your soul to the corporate overlords! Citi and Verizon presales (because nothing says “metal” like credit card companies and phone providers) start Monday, September 15. If you’re not part of the elite, don’t worry! You can try your luck with the general onsale starting Friday, September 19 at 10 a.m. local at LiveNation.com. Good luck competing with the bots! 🤖
If you happen to be a Citi cardmember, congratulations! You get to feel slightly superior as you access presale tickets starting Monday, September 15 at 12 p.m. ET until Thursday, September 18 at 10 p.m. local time. Just visit www.citientertainment.com to fulfill your destiny.
Verizon customers, don’t feel left out! You too get a special presale! Because, you know, being a Verizon customer totally makes you worthy of early access to… Sabaton tickets. The presale runs from Monday, September 15 at 12 p.m. ET until Thursday, September 18 at 10 p.m. local time. Visit myAccess in the My Verizon app for more soul-crushing details.
Here are the dates, so you can mark your calendars and prepare your wallets:
Feb. 09 – Fort Lauderdale, FL – War Memorial Auditorium (Because war is a MEMORIAL!)
Feb. 10 – Tampa, FL – Yuengling Center (Sponsored by BEER!)
Feb. 13 – Houston, TX – 713 Music Hall (What a creative NAME!)
Feb. 14 – Dallas, TX – South Side Ballroom (Romance is DEAD! Or METAL!)
Feb. 15 – San Antonio, TX – Boeing Center at Tech Port (Sponsored by… AIRPLANES!)
Feb. 18 – Phoenix, AZ – Arizona Financial Theatre (Because money IS metal!)
Feb. 20 – Los Angeles, CA – The Kia Forum (Sponsored by… CARS!)
Feb. 21 – Wheatland, CA – Hard Rock Live (Because casinos are METAL!)
Feb. 24 – Salt Lake City, UT – The Union Event Center (The UNION of METAL!)
Feb. 26 – Loveland, CO – Blue Arena (Feeling BLUE? Listen to METAL!)
Feb. 27 – Omaha, NE – Steelhouse Omaha (A HOUSE made of STEEL!)
Feb. 28 – St. Louis, MO – The Factory (Making METAL!)
Mar. 02 – Des Moines, IA – Vibrant Music Hall (So VIBRANT!)
Mar. 03 – Minneapolis, MN – The Armory (Get your ARMOR ready!)
Mar. 04 – Chicago, IL – The Salt Shed (Shedding SALT for METAL!)
Mar. 07 – Cincinnati, OH – The Andrew J Brady Music Center (Who’s Andrew J Brady?)
Mar. 08 – Detroit, MI – The Fillmore Detroit (Fill MORE METAL!)
Mar. 10 – Pittsburgh, PA – UPMC Events Center (Sponsored by… HOSPITALS!)
Mar. 11 – Philadelphia, PA – The Met Philadelphia presented by Highmark (Sponsored by… INSURANCE!)
Mar. 12 – Boston, MA – MGM Music Hall at Fenway (Sponsored by… CASINOS and BASEBALL!)
Mar. 14 – Virginia Beach, VA – The Dome^ (A DOME of METAL!)
Mar. 15 – Washington, DC – The Theater at MGM National Harbor (Sponsored by… CASINOS!)
Mar. 17 – Greensboro, NC – Greensboro Special Events Center (SPECIAL METAL!)
Mar. 18 – Atlanta, GA – Coca-Cola Roxy (Sponsored by… SODA!)
Apr. 06 – Halifax, NS – Scotiabank Centre (Sponsored by… BANKS!)
Apr. 09 – Laval, QC – Place Bell (Ding DING!)
Apr. 11 – Toronto, ON – Great Canadian Toronto (GREAT METAL!)
Apr. 14 – Winnipeg, MB – Burton Cummings Theatre (Who’s Burton Cummings?)
Apr. 17 – Edmonton, AB – Edmonton Convention Centre (METAL CONVENTION!)
Apr. 18 – Calgary, AB – Grey Eagle Event Centre (🦅)
Apr. 20 – Vancouver, BC – PNE Forum (What does PNE stand for?)
^ Apparently, Virginia Beach isn’t worthy of the Citi presale. Sorry, Virginia Beach! 🤷♀️
Oh, and get this: SABATON released a new single called “Crossing The Rubicon” featuring Jonny Hawkins and Mark Vollelunga of NOTHING MORE. Because apparently SABATON isn’t epic enough on their own. This collaborative masterpiece hit the radio airwaves on Friday, September 12, because radio is still a thing, right? The original version will be on the “Legends” album, in case you prefer your SABATON without the “extra” flavor. 🤮
“Legends” will be available in every physical format imaginable, including CD, two-CD digibook, two-CD earbook (whatever that is), 11 unique vinyl editions (because why not?), and a limited box set (for the truly obsessed). Each vinyl edition will portray a different legendary figure, because SABATON is all about the details (that they probably got wrong anyway). 🙄 There will even be a “Julius Caesar Edition,” because who doesn’t love a good Roman emperor? 🏛️
According to the PR department, “Legends” is a “rock odyssey that transcends time and borders, with melodic guitar riffs, goosebump-inducing choirs, and epic choruses.” It’s also a “bold evolution in storytelling” that “plunges headfirst into the heart of history’s most formidable and enigmatic figures.” Basically, it’s the same SABATON you know and tolerate, but with slightly different lyrics. They also claim that EVERY band member contributed to the songwriting, which either means it’s a stroke of genius or a complete disaster. Only time will tell! 🕰️
SABATON has always focused on historical battles and acts of heroism, because subtlety is for cowards! They’ve also partnered with their “network of specialists” from the Sabaton History Channel on YouTube to make sure the album is “as close to reality as possible.” Because, you know, historical accuracy is super important in power metal. They’re also working with graphic artist Peter Sallai and producer Jonas Kjellgren, because consistency is key!
Four songs have already been released from “Legends”: “The Duelist,” “Lightning At The Gates,” “Hordes Of Khan,” and “Templars.” Because why wait for the album when you can slowly drain your fans’ wallets one single at a time? 💰
These songs have been streamed millions of times, because SABATON has a lot of loyal (and easily manipulated) fans. The videos have also been viewed millions of times, because who doesn’t love watching a bunch of guys in camouflage sing about war? 🤷♀️
In the two decades since their launch, SABATON has headlined major festivals, sold out arena concerts, and gained a legion of loyal fans by being one of the hardest working bands in the business. Or maybe they’re just really good at marketing. Who knows? 🤔 They’ve earned gold, platinum, and multi-platinum certifications around the world, because apparently people still buy albums. They’ve also won a bunch of awards, because awards are totally meaningless. They’ve accumulated billions of streams and views, because numbers don’t lie (or do they?). 📊
So, there you have it. SABATON is coming to North America to sing about history and sell you overpriced tickets and merchandise. Get ready to pledge allegiance to the Swedish war machine! 🇸🇪
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
