You won’t believe the sorcery that’s happening here, folks! 🎉🔮 They’ve actually conjured up a sequel to Practical Magic, a whole 30 years after the original spell was cast 😱. And, of course, they’ve brought back the dynamic duo of Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, because who needs new talent when you can just reuse the same old magic? 🙄
I mean, who wouldn’t want to revisit the Owens family, cursed by a centuries-old spell that dooms any man who dares to fall in love with one of its female members? 💔 It’s not like we’ve all been living under a rock, waiting for a legacyquel to answer the age-old question: what happens to the next generation of Owens women? 🤔 As if we didn’t already know they’d be just as hapless and lovestruck as their ancestors 🙄.
So, Joey King plays the daughter of Bullock’s character, because nepotism is alive and well in Hollywood 🤑. And, as you can see in the trailer, she’s smooching up Xolo Maridueña from Cobra Kai, who’s probably just thrilled to be in a movie that’s not about karate 🥋. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be in a film where they get to make out with a witch and possibly die a tragic death? 💀 It’s like the ultimate career goal 🎉.
Watch the first teaser for Practical Magic 2 below, if you dare 🎃. But don’t say I didn’t warn you: it’s full of cheesy magic, sappy romance, and enough familial drama to make you want to hex your own relatives 🧙♀️.
Practical Magic 2 has a new director, Susanne Bier, who’s probably just thrilled to be helming a project that’s not a total snooze-fest 🙌. And, hey, Akiva Goldsman, one of the original screenwriters, is back on board, because why fix what ain’t broke, right? 🤷♀️ He’s co-written the script with Georgia Pritchett, a TV writer who’s worked on shows like Succession and The Thick of It, which is just code for “we’re trying to make this movie sound smarter than it actually is” 📚.
Here’s the official synopsis, because you’re all dying to know what this hot mess is about 🤤:
“Starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, Practical Magic 2 returns to a world steeped in moonlit mischief and powerful ancestral magic, as the Owens sisters must confront the dark curse that threatens to unravel their family once and for all in a must-see cinematic event of fun, magic, and mayhem.” 🎊 Yeah, because that’s exactly what we all need: more fun, magic, and mayhem in our lives 🤪.
Practical Magic 2 is scheduled to open in theaters on September 11, because what better way to commemorate a national tragedy than with a cheesy witch movie? 🎬 And, hey, if you’re feeling brave, you can check out some horror sequels you forgot existed, because who needs original horror movies when you can just sequel-ize the same old tropes over and over? 🎃👻
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
