Brainstorm Media has acquired the U.S. rights to “Without Blood”, the latest film from Angelina Jolie, because apparently, they want to make us all cry and question the meaning of life 🤷♀️. The film, which marks Jolie’s continued exploration of war and its human cost (yawn), is set to release in U.S. theaters on September 18, 2026, just in time to ruin our summer vibes 🌞. Directed and produced by Jolie, with a screenplay by Jolie and Alessandro Baricco 📝, the film stars Salma Hayek Pinault and Demián Bichir, with Juan Minujín 🤩, and is based on Baricco’s internationally acclaimed novel of the same name 📚.
The film is an unforgettable saga (read: boring and long) set in the aftermath of an unnamed conflict, exploring universal truths about war, trauma, memory, and healing 🤕. Because, you know, we haven’t seen that before in every other war movie ever made 🙄. The film held its world premiere as a Special Presentations section at the Toronto International Film Festival, where it was probably met with a standing ovation and tears of joy from the audience 🎉. Produced by Jolie, alongside Lorenzo Mieli, Lorenzo De Maio, and Simone Gattoni 🤝, “Without Blood” is a Fremantle North America and The Apartment (a Fremantle company) coproduction, in collaboration with Jolie Productions and De Maio Entertainment 📊.
“Alessandro Baricco’s ‘Without Blood’ examines universal truths about trauma, memory, and healing,” said Jolie, probably with a straight face 🙄. “The emotional intimacy and openness that our cast and crew brought to this film was extraordinary and exciting to be around 🤩. I hope that Salma and Demián’s brave performances will inspire the type of conversation that Baricco sought in writing the novel 📝.” Yeah, because what we really need is another film that makes us feel guilty about not doing enough to help those affected by war 😔.
“Having the opportunity to be directed by Angelina Jolie in ‘Without Blood’ was a profoundly enriching experience 🙏,” added Hayek Pinault, probably with a hint of sarcasm 🤣. “Her emotional intelligence and searing sensitivity bring to life a story about how the wounds we carry shape who we become, and the strength it takes to carry on 💪. I am so thrilled that Brainstorm is bringing this visually stunning tale of revenge, guilt, and the long road back to our own humanity to US audiences in theaters 🎥.” Yeah, because what we really need is another film that makes us feel bad about ourselves and our place in the world 🌎.
“Angelina Jolie has crafted, through a revenge western lens, a nuanced and unflinching acknowledgement of the human cost of war 💔,” said Brainstorm CEO Michelle Shwarzstein, probably with a completely straight face 🙄. “Anchored by two brilliant performances by Salma Hayek Pinault and Demián Bichir, this cinematic plea for empathy and understanding has unfortunately never been more relevant today 🤕 and will resonate deeply with theatrical audiences 🎥.” Yeah, because what we really need is another film that makes us feel guilty about not doing enough to help those affected by war 😔.
“Angelina Jolie’s compelling adaptation of Alessandro Baricco’s novel embodies our shared passion for, and commitment to, telling global stories 🌎,” said Andrea Scrosati, Group COO and CEO of Continental Europe, Fremantle 📊. “Without Blood is a prime example of what can be achieved when we embrace creative freedom and partnerships 🤝. We look forward to bringing the film to U.S. audiences 🎥.” Yeah, because what we really need is another film that makes us feel like we’re not doing enough to help those affected by war 🤦♀️.
The acquisition was negotiated by Alex Peters on behalf of Brainstorm Media, with Creative Artists Agency and Fremantle handling sales 📈. The film will be released in U.S. theaters on September 18, 2026, so mark your calendars 📅, or don’t, because let’s be real, you’ll probably forget 🙃. “WITHOUT BLOOD” (United States of America/Italy, 91 Minutes – English) is a Brainstorm Media presentation 🎥, directed, written, and produced by Angelina Jolie 🙌, and starring Salma Hayek Pinault and Demián Bichir 🤩. So, get ready to cry, feel guilty, and question the meaning of life 🤷♀️. 🎉👏🎊👀💔🌎🎥📚🤕🙄🎉
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
