James Gunn, our supreme overlord and benevolent dictator of DC Studios, has graced us with his infinite wisdom, explaining why *Superman* isn’t shattering box office records worldwide 🌍. Turns out, it’s all your fault, ungrateful foreigners! Your pesky “anti-American sentiment” is ruining everything! How dare you not blindly worship the Man of Steel?!
In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone*, Gunn, the visionary behind cinematic masterpieces (and some not-so-masterful pieces, let’s be real 😜), suggested that those pesky international markets just don’t appreciate the sheer, unadulterated American-ness of Superman. Apparently, some countries are too busy with their own cultures and superheroes to fully embrace the guy in tights who fights for “truth, justice, and the American way” (mostly the American way, let’s be honest).
Gunn, ever the diplomat, delicately stated, “Superman is not a known commodity in some places. He is not a big, known superhero in some places like Batman is. That affects things. And it also affects things that we have a certain amount of anti-American sentiment around the world right now. It isn’t really helping us.” Oh, the shade! 🔥 It’s not that the movie is mediocre or anything (perish the thought!), it’s that you’re all just jealous of our freedom and superheroes!
But fear not, loyal subjects! Gunn assures us that it’s “just a matter of letting something grow” organically. Like a weed? 🤔 He claims the movie is doing gangbusters domestically, and internationally is “rising” like the tide… slowly. But hey, at least it’s performing well in the U.K. and Brazil! They clearly have superior taste. 🍷
“But again, for us, everything’s been a total win,” Gunn proclaimed, clearly not sweating the fact that the movie isn’t making ALL the money. “Having the movie come out and be something that has been embraced by people everywhere — this is just the seed of the tree that Peter [Safran] and I have been watering for the past three years. So to be able to have it start off so positively has been incredibly overwhelming,” he added. Overwhelmingly average, maybe? 🤷♂️
And let’s not forget the “Superwoke” controversy! Apparently, some mouth-breathers on Fox News got their tiny brains in a twist because Gunn dared to suggest that *Superman* is about “basic human kindness.” Gasp! The horror! 😱 How dare a superhero movie promote values like compassion and empathy?! That’s clearly a communist plot!
Gunn, bless his heart, seemed genuinely confused by the outrage. “I’ve heard people say it was woke, and then I’ve heard a lot of people say it’s not. I am curious as to what in the movie is considered woke,” he said, probably while rolling his eyes so hard he could see his brain. 🙄
He then went on to explain that kindness is, like, a really good thing, and maybe if people were nicer to each other, there would be less road rage. Profound! 🤯 But apparently, valuing kindness is now a “woke” agenda. The world is truly doomed.
So, there you have it, folks. *Superman*’s underwhelming international box office performance is all your fault. And if you think the movie is “woke,” you’re probably just a grumpy old man yelling at clouds. ☁️ Now go forth and spread the gospel of Gunn! And maybe buy a few more tickets to *Superman*. He needs the money… for creative freedom, obviously. 🎨
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
