Oh boy, buckle up, buttercups! 🤩 Starting November 5th, the highly anticipated (by like, five people) PlayStation Portal is getting an “update” that will let you cloud stream your PS5 games. Yes, you too can now experience the joy of input lag on a handheld device! 🥳🎉 Because nothing says “next-gen gaming” like streaming games you already own instead of, you know, *playing* them on your actual console. 🤪
The PlayStation Portal, that glorified paperweight 🧱, was all the rage when it launched (said no one ever). It was basically a remote play device, meaning your PS5 had to be on and connected. Genius! 🧠 Sony, in their infinite wisdom, decided to “evolve” 🐒 things last year with a Cloud Streaming beta for PlayStation Plus Premium members. Now you can play select games from their catalogue… with all the graphical fidelity and responsiveness of a potato 🥔. It opened things up a bit, giving users more freedom to use the PS Portal to play games beyond what was on their PS5. Because why bother using the perfectly good console you already own? 🤔
But hold on to your hats 🎩, because something EVEN MORE exciting is coming this week! Premium subscribers (aka the people who hate money 💸) can now stream digital PS5 games they *actually* own, without even TOUCHING their console! 🤯 That’s right, you can now experience the unparalleled thrill of paying for a game and then paying AGAIN to stream it. 🤡 It’s the future, people!
According to a PlayStation blog post by Takuro Fushimi, senior manager of product management at PlayStation (aka the guy we’re blaming for this), thousands of PS5 games will “work” with cloud streaming at launch. That list includes such groundbreaking titles as Astro Bot (a game that basically exists to show off the DualSense controller, which you won’t be using), Borderlands 4, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Fortnite, Ghost of Yōtei, Grand Theft Auto V (yes, STILL) and Resident Evil 4. And if that wasn’t enough to make you question your life choices, hundreds more games from the PlayStation Plus catalogue are also available to stream, including Cyberpunk 2077 (good luck with that), God of War Ragnarök and The Last of Us Part II Remastered. So many games to stream… so little reason to. 😴
But wait, there’s more! 🎁 With this update, you can play your favorite game while someone else uses the PS5 to watch a movie! Because nothing brings a family together like one person hogging the TV while the other struggles with laggy cloud gaming on a tiny screen. 🥰 Or stream a title while a friend plays something different on the console under their own account! Finally, a solution to the age-old problem of wanting to play games at the same time on the same console. 🙄
With this update, Sony is apparently trying to trick people into thinking the PS Portal is a “genuine portable option”. 🤣 Your PS5 can be powered off completely, and you’ll still have access to your library from any location with a reliable Wi-Fi connection. Just ignore the fact that your phone can probably do the same thing, and it doesn’t require you to buy a separate, overpriced accessory. 🤡
And because Sony loves to throw features at the wall and see what sticks, the PlayStation Portal interface is getting a redesign! Now with separate home screens for remote play and cloud streaming, because apparently those are two COMPLETELY different things. 🤷♀️ There’s also a dedicated search tab, because finding things is hard. 😵💫 New features include 3D audio support for compatible headphones (sold separately, of course 💸), a passcode lock for security (because someone might steal your… streaming device?), and an easier way to check network connection quality (because Sony knows you’re going to need it). 📶 Cloud streaming sessions now support in-game purchases, because why not nickel and dime you even more? 💰 Accessibility options such as screen readers, and game invitations from friends.
From the looks of things, PlayStation Portal owners (all five of you) have plenty to be… mildly inconvenienced by. 😒 With this update available starting today, gamers can dive in and see what it adds to the experience. We had the pleasure of speaking with Takuro Fushimi to gain more insight into what players can expect from the latest PS Portal update, along with additional details about what it brings to the system. It’s well worth a read if you want to learn more about this release, or if you’re just really, really bored. 📖
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
