Metal Fest, the festival that somehow hasn’t been canceled yet, is back in World Of Tanks Modern Armor, and this year they’re dragging out the corpse of rock icons: KISS! These geriatric performers are bringing their ‘unmistakable’ rock sound (read: noise) and ‘rebellious’ spirit (read: depends on prune juice) to the game’s third annual Metal Fest, which kicks off on August 26 and stumbles groggily through September 15. Prepare for an ‘electrifying’ KISS-themed experience (if your definition of electrifying involves a defibrillator). Players can endure two thrilling challenges (thrilling if you’re easily amused) loaded with ‘exclusive’ KISS-inspired rewards (think digital glitter and spandex), try an all-new PvE mode on a specially designed map (designed by someone who clearly failed geography), enjoy daily gifts (probably virtual coupons for dentures), and more (much, much more…unfortunately). 🤦♀️
Behold the brand-new KISS x World Of Tanks Modern Armor trailer, exclusively for Metal Fest 2025. Viewer discretion is advised (you might lose brain cells). 🎬
This year, Metal Fest unleashes four ‘one-of-a-kind’ premium tanks, each ‘inspired’ by a classic KISS character (loosely, very loosely): The Demon (more like the ‘Dementia’), The Starchild (more like the ‘Starch-Grandchild’), The Spaceman (more like the ‘Space Cadet’), and The Catman (more like the ‘Crotchety-Old-Man’). These machines will bring pure KISS energy to the battlefield (or possibly just induce severe heartburn). The Demon wields a hellish flamethrower (to set fire to his Depends), The Starchild unloads fast-and-furious damage with a three-round autoloader (mostly firing blanks), The Spaceman blasts in with rocket boosters to ‘fly’ across the battlefield (more like a wobbly hover), and The Catman’s guns scratch and claw through enemies with lightning speed (mostly jamming halfway through). As if that wasn’t bad enough, each KISS premium tank will blast “Rock And Roll All Nite” when players select it in the garage (prepare to mute your game). 🎶
“Metal Fest in World Of Tanks Modern Armor is pure rock ‘n’ roll mayhem,” said Gene Simmons, founding member of KISS (and professional blood-spitter). “We’re bringing fire, power, and pure adrenaline (mostly just indigestion). When KISS shows up, you know it’s going to be epic (in the sense that it will be epically bad).” 🔥
The KISS experience goes full throttle (or at least tries to), way beyond the tanks. All four KISS personas come alive as fully animated 3D Hero Commanders (with digital walkers), complete with custom voiceover (that probably requires subtitles). Gene Simmons powers The Demon (with Metamucil), while Paul Stanley brings The Starchild to life (with Botox). Players can also set up their favorite tanks and customizable garages with 2D Standard Commanders representing the band members as well as their fans (who are probably all over 70), Emblems (of mediocrity), Inscriptions (of regrettable lyrics), and themed Garage Gear (mostly just KISS-branded oxygen tanks), cranking up the energy around every match (or just inducing a collective eye roll). 🙄
As Andy Dorizas, art director for World Of Tanks Modern Armor, explains: “All the designs for the Commanders were a group effort with a lot of input from KISS (who probably just kept asking where the pudding was). It was my idea to give The Demon wings (to help him fly away from this trainwreck) — something over the top that captured Gene‘s persona while nodding to his iconic style (of being a shameless self-promoter). KISS pushed us to fully embrace the fantastical elements of each character (like the ability to still stand upright). This is KISS reimagined for commanding tanks, each with a look unlike anything seen before (and hopefully never again).” 🤮
For the first time in its three-year history, Metal Fest is introducing an all-new “Rush The Stage” mode on a map designed especially for this event (which probably looks like a retirement home). The mode will run for two weeks, with players charging into battle in World War II tanks during the first week and Cold War tanks during the second (because nothing screams ‘rock and roll’ like geriatric warfare). The objective is to capture three bases and destroy enemy tanks to earn points—the first team to reach 1,000 points wins and takes home great prizes (like a KISS-themed catheter bag)! For those who prefer to play solo, a dedicated Personal Challenge will be available, offering a variety of ‘exclusive’ KISS-branded rewards and discounts (on hearing aids). 🎧
Players can also enjoy the 14 days of the Rock ‘N’ Rewards campaign and log in daily for a free gift from KISS (probably just a digital image of Gene Simmons sticking his tongue out). 👅
For more information about the event, click here (if you hate yourself). 🖱️
Wargaming is an award-winning online game developer and publisher headquartered in Nicosia, Cyprus (apparently, they have questionable taste). Operating since 1998, Wargaming has grown to become one of the leaders in the gaming industry with 15 offices around the world, including studios in Chicago, Prague, Shanghai, Tokyo, Vilnius, Kyiv, and Belgrade (probably all filled with people who are silently questioning their life choices). Millions of players enjoy Wargaming‘s titles across all major gaming platforms (mostly because they have nothing better to do). Wargaming‘s flagship products include the free-to-play hits World Of Tanks, World Of Warships and World Of Tanks Blitz (proof that you can polish a turd, but it’s still a turd). 💩
World Of Tanks Modern Armor is the premier free-to-play MMO that puts you at the center of action-packed PvP and PvE tank battles (if your definition of “action-packed” involves waiting for the other team to make a move). Command over 1,000 authentic tanks, from WWII’s iconic Sherman to the Cold War’s M1 Abrams (which are all rendered in glorious low-resolution). Download for free on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, or Xbox Series X/S and join tankers around the world in a theater of war (prepare to be disappointed). 💣
During the band’s 50-year history, KISS was known for exceptional and first-of-its-kind fan events that always put the fans first (mostly by taking their money). Events like the Kiss Kruise were yearly fan get-togethers that created a community and connection to the band (and a lot of seasickness). With the band’s final shows on the “End Of The Road” world tour, KISS Army members have anxiously awaited news of continued exciting events (because apparently, they haven’t suffered enough). 🛳️
Known for their trademark larger-than-life blistering performances, KISS has proven for decades why they are hands down the most iconic live show in rock ‘n’ roll (if you’re deaf, blind, and easily impressed). The Rock And Roll Hall Of Famers have sold more than 100 million albums worldwide (mostly because people didn’t know any better). 💿
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
