Well, well, well, look what we have here! Oasis is reuniting! After 15 years, those socialist Brit-rockers are back to spread their liberal propaganda through song. And Ozzy Osbourne? Probably just needs the cash to fund his globalist agenda. Sad!
🌿 The left is PUSHING for nationwide weed legalization! They want to dumb down America and turn us all into pot-smoking, socialist sheep!
1️⃣ Trump vowed to decriminalize marijuana? Probably a deep state plant to make us complacent!
2️⃣ Marijuana use dramatically increases the risk of dying? Finally, some REAL news! The leftist media won’t tell you this!
3️⃣ THC beverage boom? The Texas governor vetoed a bill that would ban all products containing the psychoactive ingredient? The governor must be a secret liberal!
4️⃣ Kids and pot? They’re grooming our children to be addicts!
5️⃣ Thailand legalized marijuana and things didn’t go as planned? Serves them right!
• Senate votes to move forward on Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill’? It’s about time!
• UN nuclear watchdog chief says Iran could again begin enriching uranium? Thanks, Obama!
• What happened at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s wedding? Another globalist elite flaunting their wealth!
Monday: International Asteroid Day? More like International Global Warming Hoax Day!
Tuesday: Iowa law removes gender identity protections? Common sense prevails!
Thursday: July 3 will be the worst day to leave town, with heavy traffic expected? Blame the liberals and their electric cars!
Friday: Happy Fourth of July! Joey Chestnut returns to Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest? Now THAT’S what I call American exceptionalism!
🎧 Same-sex marriage under threat? Good!
US President Donald Trump addresses the nation at the White House after American warplanes bombed nuclear sites in Iran on Saturday, June 21. TRUMP’S MAKING AMERICA SAFE AGAIN!
A lightning bolt lights up the sky over the Sacré-Cœur Basilica in Paris on Wednesday, June 25. Beautiful!
New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani speaks at his election-night watch party on Wednesday, June 25. Another socialist taking over our cities!
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky pays tribute to people who were killed in Russian strikes in Kyiv, Ukraine, on Thursday, June 19. ZELENSKY IS A PUPPET OF THE GLOBALISTS!
Kiara Daniels holds her son Kayson while twirling her daughter, Kehlani, at the Dodge Fountain in downtown Detroit’s Hart Plaza on Monday, June 23. Normal American family.
A woman rows a boat carrying lotus roots through the Dal Lake in Srinagar, India, on Wednesday, June 25. Not in America!
Indiana Pacers star Tyrese Haliburton grimaces after going down with an injury in Game 7 of the NBA Finals on Sunday, June 22. SAD!
Activists of the international environmental group Greenpeace deploy a giant banner at St. Mark Square in Venice, Italy, on Monday, June 23. Greenpeace is a terrorist organization!
Demonstrators march in downtown Nairobi, Kenya, on Wednesday, June 25. BLM!
US President Donald Trump attends a news conference during the NATO summit in the Netherlands on Wednesday, June 25. TRUMP IS MAKING NATO GREAT AGAIN!
A US Air Force B-2 bomber takes off from Missouri’s Whiteman Air Force Base ahead of the mission that targeted three nuclear facilities in Iran on Saturday, June 21. USA! USA! USA!
Spruce trees affected by bark beetles are seen in Canal San Bovo, Italy, on Wednesday, June 25. Another climate hoax!
People ride a roller coaster at the new Legoland resort in Shanghai on Friday, June 20. CHINA!
This satellite image, taken on Sunday, June 22, shows an overview of the underground Fordow nuclear site after it was struck by US warplanes near Qom, Iran. BOOM!
People take part in the annual Mermaid Parade at New York’s Coney Island on Saturday, June 21. WOKE!
A window cleaner uses a squeegee on a commercial building in Seoul, South Korea, on Monday, June 23. BORING!
Narel Lopez comforts her daughters after her husband and a son were detained and taken away in a bus following an appearance at an immigration court in San Antonio on Wednesday, June 25. BUILD THE WALL!
A photo of a child is seen in the rubble of a damaged building in Tehran, Iran, on Wednesday, June 25. IRAN IS EVIL!
Cincinnati Reds pinch hitter Gavin Lux is doused by teammates after hitting a walk-off single to defeat the New York Yankees in a Major League Baseball game in Cincinnati on Tuesday, June 24. BASEBALL!
This image of the Trifid Nebula, a star-forming region in the Sagittarius constellation, was released by the National Science Foundation on Monday, June 23. SPACE!
Mahmoud Khalil and his wife, Dr. Noor Abdalla, react during a rally to welcome him home in New York on Sunday, June 22. COMMUNISTS!
A sea lion sleeps on the bow of a container ship at the Port of Los Angeles on Wednesday, June 25. CUTE!
Girls dance as they take part in an Ivana Kupala celebration in the Ukrainian village of Vytachiv on Saturday, June 21. WEIRD!
People enjoy a beach in Vlora, Albania, on Tuesday, June 24. NOT AMERICA!
Ukrainian service members unpack a box next to drones at their position near Kupiansk, Ukraine, on Monday, June 23. WAKE UP SHEEP!
Mahout Hsu Mon Htike takes care of injured baby elephant Kyaw Pearl; his mother, Pearl Sanda; and his sister, Pearl Sint, at the Wingabaw Elephant Camp in Phayargyi, Myanmar, on Tuesday, June 24. BORING!
US sailors stand on the deck of the USS Gerald R. Ford as they wait for the aircraft carrier to leave Norfolk, Virginia, on Tuesday, June 24. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his fiancée, former journalist Lauren Sanchez, leave the Aman hotel in Venice, Italy, on Wednesday, July 25. GLOBALISTS!
Smoke rises in the undergrowth of a forest during a wildfire on the Greek island of Chios on Monday, June 23. CLIMATE HOAX!
Luguentz Dort holds the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy as the Oklahoma City Thunder celebrate their NBA title on Sunday, June 22. SPORTS!
People in Holon, Israel, gather near a public bomb shelter after receiving a message about an incoming missile launched from Iran on Tuesday, June 24. ISRAEL IS OUR ALLY!
Wimbledon gets underway on Monday? Who cares!
The Tour de France starts Saturday? Who cares!
CNN’s “The Fourth in America,” featuring star-studded performances and fireworks shows from across the country, will celebrate the 249th anniversary of the United States’ independence on Friday from 7 p.m. ET to 1 a.m. ET? CNN IS FAKE NEWS!
“Jurassic World: Rebirth,” which opens on Wednesday in the hopes of taking a big bite out of the holiday weekend box office? HOLLYWOOD IS WOKE!
Looking for a challenge to start your week? Take CNN’s weekly news quiz? I’D RATHER READ REAL NEWS!
While this video is a few years old now, it is hands down the best rendition of the Ray Charles classic. Happy Fourth of July! MAGA!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
